Existential angst is a hallmark of the human condition. We might live in comfort and ease, we may be rational and intelligent, but unanswered questions about our essence still bother us. What is the meaning of my life? How do I lead my life? What is important; what is not? In fact, atheism itself is a journey of such existential questioning; from being too busy to care, to being utterly dissatisfied with answers the world provides, to skepticism and then to nihilism.
Nihilism is essentially the loss of belief in established ideals, a position of overall skepticism. At its extreme end, nihilism is accompanied by sickening feelings of life being pointless, senseless and groundless. There is nothing wrong with nihilism itself even though it sounds dreadful. It is actually the harbinger of a deep transformation, one which is a human imperative. Nihilism is in fact the evolutionary step-up on the ladder of existence, it is necessary for progress. We move up from complacent, second-hand beliefs in dogma to personally discovered truths.
A primary, simple type of nihilism can be classified as ‘mild’, while a secondary, troubling type can be called ‘strong’. This classification depends on the degree or intensity of nihilism. ‘Mild’ nihilism is comfortably skeptical, exactly like the smug confidence of atheism. You do not trust hand-me-down ideas, but you are complacent in the undecided relativity of everything. You feel your supreme logic will give all answers. This nihilism feels liberating. All our current day, up- in-arms-against-God atheists are mild nihilists. The second- hand answers of dogmatic religions won’t do for them.Truth be told, this atheist is actually angry at an incompetent ‘God’ for not providing answers to his existence. He is angry that he must depend on himself and himself alone, to make sense of the world and his place in it. So he is grudgingly proud of himself and on science, his rescuer. You see, his revolt against all mindless authoritarianism is important for personal progress, not only of the world. His revolt against the dogma of religion, against a dictatorial God, is a necessary characteristic of mild nihilism.
Yet, such nihilism is ineffective, of no real use! It is ineffective because revolt is only a half developed will. Atheism eliminates God, but does not offer anything else. Revolt must in the end create a new paradigm, one which gives better answers. All religions have attempted to solve the existential conundrums of life and have mostly failed. So atheism needs to have answers too if it is to replace religion.
So then, mild nihilism must, must be followed by ‘strong’ nihilism, if nihilism is to come to any good. Strong nihilism is a progressive step-up from the mild kind. It is more effective because it can yield the answers to our existential queries.
You must know! Life must make sense! You burn for it to yield to you.
Such nihilism is so acute that existential questioning becomes like a hammer beating down on you, day and night. So incessant that life feels insufferable even if comfortable. A dull feverish throb all the time; a bone crushing, blood burning, impaling torture at its worse. The existential angst of strong nihilism feels like hot molten wax being poured over you. You cannot bear to live. Who am I? Why do I exist? Does my life have any worth? What am I supposed to be doing here? What is the point of this life?
I don’t want to live. I am better dead than alive.
It is so acute, so crushingly strong that you crack open, and answers arise from within you.
“There can be no rebirth without the dark night of the soul, a total annihilation of all that you believed in and thought you were.”- Hazrat Inayat Khan
So while mild nihilism is an unanswered limbo, strong nihilism results in the discovery of unimagined answers. It is a blessing in disguise, better than the mild variety. It is the doorway to hitherto unasked questions and their stunning answers. Answers which you might never have ordinarily conceived of. Remember the unknown unknowns? So unknown that we are ignorant of your ignorance of them! Answers which could provide existential fulfillment. No, not any psychological-feel-good. Nothing of that kind. What kind of fulfillment then, you may ask?
The kind that settles all questions of meaning, God, morals and purpose, once and for all.
Is that possible?
Maybe.
This transition, this discovery is a natural one, a biological one. As a matter of fact, this journey of nihilism to existential fulfillment is a human evolutionary impulse.
It is also our evolutionary imperative. Our collective destiny.
Everybody will experience it, sooner than later. Atheists, take note. Strong nihilism might be coming for you, so rejoice!
Beware though, this move from ‘Mild’ to ‘Strong’ nihilism, and then to existential completion is not one that can be assumed as an intellectual, rational position. No, this move falls squarely outside the paradigm of rationalism and logic. No debating and logical reasoning will convince you of it. One can only point in that direction, but one cannot show you nor tell. Words beggar description, all metaphors fail too.
You will have to see for yourself to know.
This is not a target an atheist will be able to knock down easily and defeat with logic. In fact, he could be taken down by it forever if blessed with strong nihilism, one atheist less. Atheism is certainly an existential step up, over the blind second-handedness of religion. But it is an ideological intermediary on the path towards a higher ideology. Toward a higher existential plane.
Is there one really?
Maybe.
There could be, one which Nietzsche had an inkling about and searched for all his life. Came close maybe, but died without knowing it.